And I thought Charlie was the dumb one.

Sheen leads antiwar forces By Paul Bond

Forces, yet. How adorably militaristic. Brave dissenters all, I'm sure.

LOS ANGELES (The Hollywood Reporter) --- Martin Sheen is about to become the face of the Hollywood antiwar movement.

Sheen has cut a TV commercial in which he implores: "Don't invade Iraq. Inspections work; war won't."

As a matter of fact, the inspections have been an utter failure in every possible way. War, on the other hand, was quite effective last time. And since when does playing a fictional sort of Clinton-if-he-weren't-such-an-asshole president for an hour of Liberal wish fulfillment every week make one a foreign policy expert? Pardon me while I dissolve into helpless giggles.

The ad is set to begin a one-week run today -- initially on CNN, MSNBC and CNN Headline News.

An effort bankrolled by the groups Win Without War and MoveOn.org,

Oh, the MoveOn guys. The ones who insist we should just "move on" past Clinton's perjury, but can't get over the 2000 elections.

the ad was unveiled at a West Hollywood hotel Wednesday, where Sheen was accompanied by many of his "West Wing" co-stars and Anjelica Huston, Janeane Garofalo and Mike Farrell.

Round up the usual suspects.

The Sheen commercial advertises what Win Without War is calling a "virtual march on Washington." Scheduled for Wednesday, the virtual march asks Americans to use e-mail, fax machines and telephones to get their antiwar messages to legislators that day. A visit to www.MoveOn.org makes the task easier.

Downloadable posters.

Hollywood's political activism of late has been well documented in the press, as many celebrities have turned award ceremonies and film festivals into antiwar rallies.

Maybe it's me, but usually I find the marriage of art and politics crass beyond belief. There are so few people who have the talent to pull it off most would be better off to shut up and dance like the painted whores they are (as my friend Elaine so memorably put it at the REM concert some 15 years ago.)

Some have suggested that the most vocal of the activist celebrities face a potential backlash. Sean Penn has claimed he lost a role because of his fact-finding mission to Baghdad, an effort that many Americans have deemed unpatriotic.

Sean Penn is a fucking dumbass who couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel. But "many Americans" didn't deny Penn that role, that was a decision made by a man in the industry who made a judgment call that Penn wasn't right for the part, was too expensive for the part, or just has no goddamn talent. The accusation that the loss of the role was due to his ill-considered jaunt to Baghdad has no basis in reality, and doesn't acquire one through repetition.

Reporters at the unveiling of Sheen's commercial Wednesday also broached the subject.

"There's already a backlash," Farrell said, dismissing it as an "organized attempt by the right wing."

Baha. Of course. That sound you hear couldn't possibly be millions of individuals evaluating your movement and giving you a collective raspberry. No, no, it's just got to be the sinister thunder of the jackboots of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy.

Garofalo said a backlash against antiwar celebrities is a creation of the media, which purposely focuses its attention on Hollywood activists in order to marginalize the peace movement.

It's not the media that marginalizes the peace movement. It's the people in the movement. The media is trying to help you, and you keep tripping over your own tongues.

In a radio interview Wednesday with the BBC, in fact, Garofalo asked that she not be introduced as an actor or celebrity but as a member of the U.S. antiwar movement.

"It's such a divisive thing," she said.

Defining yourself as a member of the anti-war movement is so non-divisive.

"The term 'celebrity' makes my skin crawl."

Me too, hon. Me too.

According to an E-poll survey obtained exclusively by The Hollywood Reporter, 44% of Americans said they might not pay to see a politically active celebrity with whom they disagree.

For some reason an image of my father intoning, "I wouldn't pay a nickel to see a pissant eat a bale of hay" just popped into my head. I can't imagine why.