Sound wars.

James Lileks gets hilariously defensive about his IPod. Dude, if you want to base your mp3 player strictly on its aesthetic appeal, fine, but why lash out when people who focus more on the sound and function don't give a hoot in hell about the aesthetics? (Also, I find the IPod ugly and monolithic. So sue me, I like feedback.)

In which I address Orlando Bloom.

Go Fug Yourself reports that the Star said you broke up with Kate Bosworth because she told you to choose between her and making Pirates II with Johnny Depp.

You made the right decision, sweetie.

Dames come and go and take half your property with them. A decent role in a movie franchise, even as secondary slightly-swishy beefcake--that's as close to security as Hollywood gets. Besides, her head looks like a pumpkin on a pencil. Seriously.

Now go eat a sandwich.