Pointless fun.

Via Emily, via Ben Kepple, a game:

1. Grab the nearest book.

2. Open the book to page 23.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

"All right, I tried," I said, and fingered it out and forked it over. -- Gambit by Rex Stout.

(Since the random obscurity of the sentences seems to be the point, I won't explain who the speaker is or what he's talking about.)

Bitch, please, part II.

This just goes right through my egalitarian soul: Spain's Prince Felipe subject to search at Miami International Airport; knickers reportedly in a twist.

"The prince and his bodyguard felt they should not be subjected to the screening, but if they do not have an escort from the State Department or the Secret Service, it is required,'' Transportation Security Administration spokeswoman Lauren Stover said. "It's the law.''

The couple had only given six hours notice instead of the standard three days required by the State Department for an expedited security check, the newspaper reported.

Am I supposed to take European royalty seriously now? Hell, I didn't even realize Spain still had a crown prince. Seems a bit...anachronistic.

Miami-Dade County Mayor Alex Penelas sent the royal family a letter of apology about what he called a "lamentable situation.''

"The facts I have received thus far indicate an apparent disregard for protocol and disrespect of His Highness and his delegation. ... I have called upon our County Manager to conduct a complete investigation into this matter,'' he wrote Thursday.

As far as I can see, the only breach of protocol was committed by the prince, who evidently thinks of the US as some colonial outpost where the local peasants should bow him through security with appropriate forelock-tugging and a touch of groveling. Nice to see the mayor accomodating him.

A Spanish consular official in Miami, who refused to give his name to the paper, said it would be Consul General Javier Vallaure's decision whether to file a complaint.

"We don't consider this the proper way to treat our future king,'' the official said. ``It's a breach of protocol.''

Know what? if your future king wants to travel through the US, it behooves him to follow our protocol, which, apparently, requires a 3-day notice or at least a security escort. We're in the middle of a war your country is in the process of pussying out of and we have security issues with foreigners, so just shut your freakin' cakehole and follow instructions. Otherwise your prince can just get in line with the other shlubs and have the security people pawing through his undies. Fuck'm.

Bitch, please.

Deeply religious superstar Madonna

There are many words that would play better as a modifier there than "religious". Psychotic is one.

will play no Friday night gigs on her upcoming world tour - because the teaching of the Kabbalah forbids it.

How much longer is she going to pretend she's serious about this? She's done some half-assed reading and decided this belief system will make a nice accessory, like when she used to wear a crucifix (how's that for blasphemy?)

The "Holiday" hitmaker has pledged to respect the Jewish practice of Shabbat, the religion's sabbath, by dining with her close family every Friday rather than working. And Madonna, who is married to British filmmaker Guy Ritchie, hopes her move with convince the world she is very serious about the mystical teachings of the Kabbalah. A source says, "This shows just how much Madonna is influenced by Kabbalah. She is completely focused on following her beliefs no matter what lengths she has to go to."

"Until it becomes inconvenient, of course, at which point she will abandon this set of deeply-held beliefs like all the others."

Besides, why should I respect her committment to her religious beliefs when she blithely-even deliberately-tramples on the beliefs of others?

You are David Brooks! You're exceedingly smart, but
your writing is as compelling as wallpaper. You
are a thoughtful though hard-line conservative,
but lack any of Safire's verbal pyrotechnics.
In addition, you dress like you're colorblind.
Fall down, juvenile.


Which New York Times Op-Ed Columnist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'd argue if I could. Via Plastic Gangster.

According to the "Which Big Lebowski character are you?" quiz:

Why don't you check it out? Or we cut off your Johnson!

I'm not, really. I just have trouble relating to people sometimes.

[Via Ryne McClaren.]