Huzzah.

Courtesy of Andrea Harris, all hail the return of Sine Qua Non. Adjust your links accordingly.

More casting from What The Hell, Inc.

I already have a problem with Tim "Underlit" Burton directing the remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (aka Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory to non-readers.) Now he's in the process of killing whatever hopes I might have cherished of it not becoming another ill-conceived Burton Gothfest through his possible choices for the lead (well...if you think of Wonka as the lead, anyway): Michael Keaton, Christopher Walken, and--most likely at the moment--Johnny Depp. Now, it's not that I don't think all three are fine actors. And God knows, they're all quirkily charming enough to pull off the character. But none of them are British. For a project they're touting as an attempt to be faithful to the story, and therefore "not a remake" of the 1971 movie, shouldn't they start with an English cast?

But when can I actually see the movie here in Dullsville?

Bubba Ho-Tep trailer.

Fuckwits of the month.

MSNBC, for naming Mike Piazza as their "whiner of the week", based on a widely-discredited (and vehemently denied by Piazza himself) Pete Caldera article from Sunday that alleges that anonymous sources "close to him" said that Mike Piazza said he didn't want to play for the Mets anymore:

There should be a rule that only athletes who are actually playing can complain about the way their team is going. One of the most annoying things to hear is a player who’s been injured since the Reagan administration crying about how he doesn’t want to play anymore for the team he’s not playing for anyway.
Mike Piazza, our Whiner of the Week, hasn’t played for the New York Mets since May, when he tore a groin muscle that will keep him out until sometime in August. The Mets have been awful in his absence, but that’s not Piazza’s gripe.

According to The Bergen Record, Piazza has begun crying that he doesn’t want to go into the Mets’ clubhouse and he wants to be traded. Apparently, part of his animosity dates back to New York manager Art Howe mentioning off-handedly to the media before Piazza was hurt that maybe it was time for the catcher to start taking ground balls at first base.

Howe wasn’t breaking news. Piazza is one of the worst defensive catchers in the game,

Wrong. Granted, he throws like a girl. If that were all there was to catcher defense, this jackass might have a point.

and last year his offensive numbers fell drastically as he battled injuries.

Yeah, and he still ended up at the top of the catcher heap offensively. Gee, at this rate of decline he might hit like a league average catcher in another ten years or so.

He’s in the line-up for his bat, and many have long said he should either move to first or be traded to the American League, where he can DH.

"Many" have also said Jorge Posada's a great catcher. "Many" are idiots.

The problem is that Piazza wants to break all the offensive records for catchers so he can go in the Hall of Fame.

He's already smashed so many of them, the catcher HR record is just a cherry on the cake of his career. He's going to the HOF, like it or not. And he says the record isn't as important as the team, so why are you crediting someone who won't attach his name to the story over Piazza himself?

Some might call it selfish.

"Some", like "Many", are mouth-breathing morons.

Piazza and the Mets issued predictable denials of the story, with the Mets catcher whining more about the coverage. "I guess I’m the monkey this week?," Piazza asked. "That’s pretty funny.

"You’ve got to fill lines with something, right? It’s like I’m not even playing and I’m the monkey. It’s kind of cute. I guess it’s flattering, really. It’s kind of like, how do you answer something so far-fetched? It really makes no sense."

Then there's the idea that Caldera and his anonymous "sources" are just muckracking for all their pitiful lives are worth.

He’s had little to do with the team all year, and he’s in no position to cry about having to play for a team that’s done nothing but treat him like a baseball deity.

Nor has he. MSNBC hasn't done shit about covering the team, either, but that doesn't stop them from having their idiotic--and, tellingly, anonymous--say.

Not long ago, he was saying he wouldn’t move to the American League and wouldn’t move to first. Now he’s saying he’ll move anywhere. If we were a Mets fan -- if any such animals even exist -- we’d help him pack.

You don't have the nuts, guts, or brains to be a Mets fan, pisher. I'm guessing your tastes run more to soccer.

Note that there's no way to leave MSNBC feedback for this irresponsible dreck. Sports journalism--the biggest oxymoron since jumbo shrimp.

Exorcism.

Rumor has it the Reds are going to fire both The Devil and his right-hand imp (Bowden and Boone) at noon-thirty today. Three cheers and a tiger.

Of course, the attendant implication that they're going to let Ray Knight manage the team in the interim is like a dog returning to its vomit.