ROTK: circling the drain?

Peter Jackson has cut Christopher Lee from Return of the King.

Now, I'm not one of the hardcore Tolkienistas screaming because Jackson cut Tom Bombadil (a mercy) and the elves aren't chanting Tolkien's (rather vile) poetry in the background of every scene. Hell, I'm actually in favor of streamlining the narrative to increase the visual "punch".

However.

When Jackson started cutting things that are actually vital to the story--and Aragorn's acquisition of the palantir in Orthanc is vital to the story--because he was supposedly having difficulty cramming in the necessary details, and then padded the second film with lingering shots of Arwen's perky breasts, Aragorn's adolescent sulking, and a completely de trop over-the-cliff fake death scene...well, frankly, he betrayed my trust. I can't trust him to attend to the barest details now without fearing how he's going to fuck up the storyline. Surmising--and this is just speculation on my part--that Arwen is now going to be bringing her jagoff fiance his reforged sword sometime in the third film (nevermind the fact that he's supposed to have it before leaving Rivendell), why not just have her and Grandma Galadriel show up with a barebreasted Amazon Elf army at Pelennor Fields just in time to pull the guys' fat out of the fire? And then in the name of "Grrl Power" we can have Eowyn seize the mount of the Witch King, fly to Mt. Doom, take the ring from the failing Frodo's hand and fling it into the firey chasm from whence it came. That should dumb the whole story down nicely.

No, I'm not taking this well, thanks for asking.

[Thanks, Paula.]

True. So true.


You are the Girl Next Door. You're the sweet one.
The quiet one. The one that he doesn't realize
he's got until you're gone.


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Er...just ignore the profanity in the preceding post. I'm really not like that.

Stop laughing, dammit.

[Via Ian Hamet, the tramp.]

MLB taking longer to die than Mimi in La Boheme.

Another classic moment in Bud Selig's ongoing quest to drive a stake through the heart of the national game:

MLB may organize a World Cup to start in '05

There is only one kind of "cup" in baseball, and it's not a championship series.

Looking at soccer's success at creating the world's most-watched tournament, major league baseball could give the go-ahead by the end of January to start a World Cup in March 2005.

You start naming baseball tourneys after soccer championships and it can only lead to the collapse of the game as we have known it. I'm completely serious. Next thing you know we'll have a diamond full of guys in shiny pants yelling "GOOOOOOOAAAAALLL" every time they cross the plate, and I just can't reconcile myself to that prospect.

The tournament would include 8-to-16 national teams and be played in 4-to-8 U.S. ballparks,

And then all the other countries will wonder why the fuck they have to do all the traveling when it's supposedly an international contest.

according to DuPuy and union head Donald Fehr. Talks with the union already have begun.


"That's a goal we share, and with a reasonable amount of luck, I think we will get there," Fehr said.

Don Fehr, once again playing Beelzebub to Selig's Satan. Anything that'll kill the game, right guys? And what is it that's driving this sudden need to internationalize?

While the United States was eliminated from Olympic qualifying on Friday, that roster was stocked mostly with minor leaguers. Management and the union envision the World Cup teams having top stars.


The Olympic qualifying loss shocked many major league baseball officials, who repeatedly have said they cannot stop the regular season to allow major leaguers to participate in the Olympics. Canada and Cuba will represent the Americas in Athens next year.

Yes, because MLB has its head up its collective ASS, the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA will not be represented in the Olympic contest in the event that represents its own national game. And yet, to the genii at MLB, the solution is not to review the rules on how the Olympic rosters are set, the solution is to make up an entirely new fake tournament to embrace the spirit of internationalism and so forth. I'm just waiting for the special rules for the world cup to be proposed, so that we won't be accused of discriminating against the way other countries play the game.

The commissioner's office and the union are working on several international events for the 2004 season. Talks are under way to start next season in Japan -- last season's opener between Oakland and Seattle in Tokyo was scrapped because of travel concerns prior to the U.S. war in Iraq.

The union is awaiting a management response to its latest proposal to move 22 Expos' games from Montreal to San Juan, Puerto Rico, or Monterrey, Mexico.


Spring training games will be played once again in Mexico City, and if the Expos don't play in Monterrey, that city could wind up with either exhibition or regular-season games involving other teams.


In July 2005, baseball hopes to play a regular-season series in Europe, according to Archey, possibly in Rome's Olympic Stadium.

Ok, ENOUGH. It needs to be said: it's incredibly hard on the teams that start the season overseas and have to do all that fucking traveling at the start of the season. It has the potential to cost them games when they get back, and it deprives their US fans, who are the people who actually support the teams, of the chance to attend Opening Day without taking out a second goddamn mortgage. Here's an idea: stop fucking with the people who support you. Stop catering to the Japanese, who in most cases don't give two shits about seeing the American teams if they're not the Yankees. They've got their own teams, let them play the game their way, and if we must meet up, let it be at the Olympics. Jetting the teams halfway around the globe so you can pretend the sport has an international cachet is lame. Attempting to model the playoffs after soccer is the final straw.

[Via heads up from Paula, who probably didn't think I was going to react this way.]

And this one surprises me, like, not at all.


Athena


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She's a girl/she's a bomb. Pfft.

[Also via Dean Esmay, same link.]

I'd argue if I could.


schizoid


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[Via Dean Esmay.]