4/19/2004

Senator Miller, I love you, and I want to have your babies.*

March 30. 2004

U.S. Senator Zell Miller
Floor Statement: 'A House Divided Cannot Stand'
Remarks as Delivered on the Senate Floor

After watching the harsh acrimony generated by the September 11 Commission - which, let me say at the outset, is made up of good and able members - I've come to seriously question this panel's usefulness.

I believe it will ultimately play a role in doing great harm to this country, for its unintended consequences, I fear, will be to energize our enemies and demoralize our troops.

After being drowned in a tidal wave of all who didn't do enough before 9/11, I have come to believe that the Commission should issue a report that says: "No one did enough in the past. No one did near enough."

Then thank everyone for serving, send them home and let's get on with the job of protecting this country in the future.

Tragically, these hearings have proved to be a very divisive diversion for this country. Tragically, they have devoured valuable time, looking backwards when we should be looking forward.

Can you imagine handling the attack on Pearl Harbor this way? Can you imagine Congress, the media and the public standing for this kind of political gamesmanship and finger pointing after that "day of infamy" in 1941?

Some partisans tried that ploy, but they were soon quieted by the patriots who understood how important it was to get on with the war and take the battle to America's enemies, and not dwell on what FDR knew when.

You see, back then the highest priority was to win a war, not win an election. That's what made them "The Greatest Generation."

I realize that many well-meaning Americans see the hearings as "democracy in action." Years ago, when I was teaching political science, I probably would have had my class watching it live on television and using that very phrase with them.

There are also the not-so-well-meaning political operatives who see these hearings as an opportunity to "score cheap points."

Then, there are the Media Meddlers who see this as "great theater" that can be played out on the evening news and on endless talk shows for a week or more.

Congressional hearings have long been one of Washington's most entertaining pastimes. Joe McCarthy. Watergate. Iran Contra. They all kept us glued to the TV, and made for conversation around the water coolers and arguments over a beer at the corner pub.

A Congressional hearing in Washington, D.C. is the ultimate aphrodisiac for political groupies and partisan punks.

But, it's not the groupies, punks and television-sotted American public that I'm worried about. This latter crowd can get excited and divided over just about anything. Whether it's some off-key wanna-be dreaming of being the American Idol, or what brainless bimbo The Bachelor or Average Joe will choose or who will Donald Trump fire next week.

No, it is the real enemies of America that I'm concerned about.

These evil killers who right now, right now are gleefully watching the shrill partisan finger pointing of these hearings and grinning like a mule eating briars.

They see this as a major split within the Great Satan America. They see anger, they see division, instability, bickering, peevishness and dissension.

They see the President of the United States hammered unmercifully. They see all this and they are greatly, greatly encouraged.

We should not be doing anything to encourage our enemies in this battle between good and evil. Yet, these hearings, in my opinion, are doing just that.

We are playing with fire. We're playing directly into the hands of our enemy by allowing these hearings to become the great divider they have become.

Dick Clarke's book and its release coinciding with these hearings have done this country a tremendous disservice, and someday we will reap its whirlwind.

Long ago, Sir Walter Scott observed that revenge is "the sweetest morsel that ever was cooked in hell."

The vindictive Clarke has now had his revenge, but what kind of hell has he, his CBS publisher and his axe-to-grind advocates unleashed?

These hearings, coming on the heels of the election the terrorists influenced in Spain, bolster and energize our evil enemies as they have not been energized since 9/11.

Chances are very good that these evil enemies of America will attempt to influence our 2004 election in a similar dramatic way as they did Spain's And to think that could never be in this country is to stick your head in the sand.

That is why the sooner we stop this endless bickering over the past and join together to prepare for the future, the better off this country will be. There are some things - whether this city believes it or not - that are just more important than political campaigns.

The recent past is so ripe for political second-guessing "gotcha" and Monday morning quarter-backing. And it is so tempting in an election year. We should not allow ourselves to indulge that temptation. We should put our country first.

Every administration from Jimmy Carter to George W. Bush bears some of the blame. Dick Clarke bears a big heap of it because it was he who was in the catbird's seat to do something about it for more than a decade. Tragically, it was the decade in which we did the least.

We did nothing after terrorists attacked the World Trade Center in 1993, killing six and injuring more than 1,000 Americans.

We did nothing in 1996 when sixteen U.S. servicemen were killed in the bombing of the Khobar Towers.

When our embassies were attacked in 1998, killing 263 people, our only response was to fire a few missiles on an empty tent.

Is it any wonder? Is it any wonder that after that decade of weak-willed responses to that murderous terror, our enemies thought we would never fight back?

In the 1990's is when Dick Clarke should have resigned. In the 1990's is when he should have apologized. That is when he should have written his book. That is, if he really had America's best interest at heart.

Some will say, "We owe it to the families" to get more information about what happened in the past and I can understand that. But no amount of finger-pointing will bring our victims back.

So, now we owe it to future families and all of America now in jeopardy not to encourage more terrorists, resulting in even more grieving families, perhaps many more over the ones of 9/11.

It's obvious to me that this country is rapidly dividing itself into two camps: the wimps and the warriors.

The ones who want to argue and assess and appease, and the ones who want to carry this fight to our enemies and kill him them before they kill us. And, in case you haven't figured it out, I proudly belong to the latter.

This is a time like no other in the history of this country, and this country is being crippled with petty partisan politics of the worst possible kind. In time of war, it is not just unpatriotic; it is stupid, and it is criminal.

So, I pray that all this time, all this energy, all this talk and all this attention could be focused on the future instead of the past.

I pray we would stop pointing fingers, assigning blame and wringing our hands about what happened on that day David McCullogh has called "the worst day in our history" more than two years ago.

And instead, pour all of our energy into how we can kill these terrorists before they kill us - again.

For make no mistake about it. They watch these hearings. They are scheming and smiling about the distraction and the divisiveness they see in America. And while they may not know who said it years ago in America, they know instinctively that a house divided cannot stand.

There is one other group that we should remember is listening to all of this - our troops.
I was in Iraq in January and one day when I was meeting with the 1st Armored Division, a unit with a proud history known as Old Ironsides, we were discussing troop morale, and the Commanding General said it was top notch.

And I turned to the Division's Sergeant Major, the top enlisted man in the division, a big, burly, 6-foot-3, 240 pound African American and I said, "That's good, but how do you sustain that kind of morale?"

Without hesitation he narrowed his eyes, and he looked at me and said "The morale will stay high just as long as these troops know the people back home support us."

Just as long as the people back home support us. What kind of message are these hearings and the outrageously political speeches on the floor of the Senate yesterday sending to those marvelous young Americans in the uniform of our country?

I say Unite America! Before it is too late! Put aside these petty partisan differences when it comes to the protection of our people.

Argue and argue and argue and debate and debate and debate over all the other things - jobs and education and the deficit and the environment - but please, please do not use the lives of Americans and the security of this country as a cheap-shot political talking point.


Thanks to Kathy C. for the original link.

*For extra credit, to whom did Edmund Blackadder address the quote, and which episode is it from?

4/15/2004

Pointless fun.

Via Emily, via Ben Kepple, a game:
1. Grab the nearest book.

2. Open the book to page 23.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
"All right, I tried," I said, and fingered it out and forked it over. -- Gambit by Rex Stout.

(Since the random obscurity of the sentences seems to be the point, I won't explain who the speaker is or what he's talking about.)

4/13/2004

Bitch, please, part II.

This just goes right through my egalitarian soul: Spain's Prince Felipe subject to search at Miami International Airport; knickers reportedly in a twist.
"The prince and his bodyguard felt they should not be subjected to the screening, but if they do not have an escort from the State Department or the Secret Service, it is required,'' Transportation Security Administration spokeswoman Lauren Stover said. "It's the law.''

The couple had only given six hours notice instead of the standard three days required by the State Department for an expedited security check, the newspaper reported.
Am I supposed to take European royalty seriously now? Hell, I didn't even realize Spain still had a crown prince. Seems a bit...anachronistic.
Miami-Dade County Mayor Alex Penelas sent the royal family a letter of apology about what he called a "lamentable situation.''

"The facts I have received thus far indicate an apparent disregard for protocol and disrespect of His Highness and his delegation. ... I have called upon our County Manager to conduct a complete investigation into this matter,'' he wrote Thursday.
As far as I can see, the only breach of protocol was committed by the prince, who evidently thinks of the US as some colonial outpost where the local peasants should bow him through security with appropriate forelock-tugging and a touch of groveling. Nice to see the mayor accomodating him.
A Spanish consular official in Miami, who refused to give his name to the paper, said it would be Consul General Javier Vallaure's decision whether to file a complaint.

"We don't consider this the proper way to treat our future king,'' the official said. ``It's a breach of protocol.''
Know what? if your future king wants to travel through the US, it behooves him to follow our protocol, which, apparently, requires a 3-day notice or at least a security escort. We're in the middle of a war your country is in the process of pussying out of and we have security issues with foreigners, so just shut your freakin' cakehole and follow instructions. Otherwise your prince can just get in line with the other shlubs and have the security people pawing through his undies. Fuck'm.
Bitch, please.

Deeply religious superstar Madonna
There are many words that would play better as a modifier there than "religious". Psychotic is one.
will play no Friday night gigs on her upcoming world tour - because the teaching of the Kabbalah forbids it.
How much longer is she going to pretend she's serious about this? She's done some half-assed reading and decided this belief system will make a nice accessory, like when she used to wear a crucifix (how's that for blasphemy?)
The "Holiday" hitmaker has pledged to respect the Jewish practice of Shabbat, the religion's sabbath, by dining with her close family every Friday rather than working. And Madonna, who is married to British filmmaker Guy Ritchie, hopes her move with convince the world she is very serious about the mystical teachings of the Kabbalah. A source says, "This shows just how much Madonna is influenced by Kabbalah. She is completely focused on following her beliefs no matter what lengths she has to go to."
"Until it becomes inconvenient, of course, at which point she will abandon this set of deeply-held beliefs like all the others."

Besides, why should I respect her committment to her religious beliefs when she blithely-even deliberately-tramples on the beliefs of others?

4/12/2004

You are David Brooks! You're exceedingly smart, but
your writing is as compelling as wallpaper. You
are a thoughtful though hard-line conservative,
but lack any of Safire's verbal pyrotechnics.
In addition, you dress like you're colorblind.
Fall down, juvenile.


Which New York Times Op-Ed Columnist Are You?
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I'd argue if I could. Via Plastic Gangster.
According to the "Which Big Lebowski character are you?" quiz:




Why don't you check it out? Or we cut off your Johnson!



I'm not, really. I just have trouble relating to people sometimes.

[Via Ryne McClaren.]

4/09/2004

Memo to Jimmy Carter.

Shut your hole and know your role, you embarrassing relic from a thankfully dead age of American malaise and impotence.
"President Bush's war was ill-advised and unnecessary and based on erroneous statements, and has turned out to be a tragedy," Carter said. "And my prayer has been that brave young American men and women, and others who are there, that their lives will be spared and there will be some peaceful resolution of the war."
My prayer is that we actually win the damn war and they can come home knowing they changed the world. The only way this war becomes a tragedy is if you have your way and we cut and run like a scalded dog.
Carter, who won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2002,
Hardly the first or only time that particular award has been so hilariously misdirected.
also blamed what he called Bush's pro-Israel policies for engendering animosity against America.

"The prime source of animosity towards the United States is the lack of progress in dealing with the Palestinian issue," Carter said, adding that past U.S. administrations since Harry Truman's have maintained a "balanced position" in dealing with the rights of the Arab population within the Jewish nation.
So...if you're right (and you're not) that anger over our "balanced position" on the Palestinian cause culminated in the fiery death of about 3,000 Americans, who in their right mind would advocate unbalancing our position in favor of the side that did the killing? Ludicrous. Moot, of course, since the rest of the Arabs don't give two shits about the Palestinians except for their utility as wedge between the US and Israel. And if this country ever abandons Israel, God help us.

[Link via Allahpundit.]
Today's dose of Schadenfreude.

In the immortal words of Nelson Muntz, "HAha."

Trojan Horse Attacks Mac OS X:
Until now, Mac users have prided themselves [Have they ever. -ed] on running a system that has been largely virus-free. Few Mac OS X users run antivirus software, or are wary of double-clicking files they've downloaded or received in e-mail.
And why is that? Is it because the wicked cool Apple OS is so special, so unique, it's virtually virus-proof? Er...no, actually.
Security consultant and virus expert Ken Vanwyk, said there was nothing special protecting Mac OS X, or Linux for that matter, from malicious code.

"They're all susceptible to viruses and Trojans, just as Windows is," he said. "They just haven’t been targeted yet."

Vanwyk cautioned OS X users not to open e-mail attachments unless they were expecting them.

"If OS X users are being careful, I don’t see they should be rushing out to buy antivirus software," he said. "But if it goes the way of Windows, anti-virus product is in their future."

Davis said the Trojan most likely appeared because of Apple's growing influence in digital music.

"Given Apple's previous market share, OS X wasn't a challenge," he said. "As Apple becomes more visible, it's more of an attractive target."
I just thought about Lileks and smiled sadistically. I don't particularly want him hit with a virus, of course, but his occasional Odes to Apple make me grind my teeth.

[Thanks to Angela for the link and the shared glee.]


Notes from half a game.

Went to the Dayton Dragons opener last night and they lost like Mets (11-3). I mention this only to report that as I was walking past Brixx bar on my way to the game they were playing "Loser" by Beck on the patio outside. I'm sensing a lack of love for the team, but it could have been coincidence.

Anyway, I left after the 4th because I'm a dumbass and didn't take a jacket, and got home to discover the Mets also losing like Mets (10-8), didn't check the details, then this morning I find out Erickson wasn't pitching because he strained a hammy during the warmup.

Ahem.

Strained his hammy during the warmup. Is this some kind of karmic payback for something? Did Nelly Doubleday lay a curse on the guys when he sold out, or is it something more sinister? Maybe something connected to Kevin Mitchell cutting the head off his girlfriend's cat? Continuing to monitor the situation.

4/08/2004

The Alamo opens this weekend.

Despite, or maybe because of, the generally bad reviews, If I can convince Angela to see it I might go (she's a transplanted Texan and therefore the control subject by which I will set the bullshit meter), but I must point out there has never--and I mean never--been a good movie made about the Alamo. It's a cursed property. The advance word on this one is particularly bad; months ago when they were running it for test audiences I heard disturbing rumors of Davie Crockett all but wetting himself during the battle. Call me a rube, but I prefer my heroes steely eyed and devil-may-care, and I don't care to see the King of the Wild Frontier gibbering in the corner with fear.

Excellent snark:
No one here gets out alive, not the director, not the screenwriters (a phone book's worth), not the cast, and not the audience, who, a few dollars lighter and a few hours closer to death, get a chance to glimpse their own mortality reflected in the dead, shark-eyed glare of the bankruptcy of another big-budget prestige picture.
That's just good writin'.
Because they can't.



Sometimes I have to wonder just what kind of dimwits are running the show in Iraq. If our troops can't fly Old Glory, they might as well be wearing baby blue helmets.

4/06/2004

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!


If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!


How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

That was satisfying.

4/05/2004

The world goes on turning in my absence.

For those who might be wondering where the hell I was last week (and there can't be many of you), I spent the entire week riding around in a Big Truck with my older brother, getting filthy grimy (2 showers in six days--I repulsed myself by Thursday and was near-hysterical in my demands that we halt and ablute ourselves at a truckstop), eating terribly (road food report: Snyder's makes a mustard and Vidalia potato chip, as well as like-flavored Funyun type snack rings. Found the chips at a diner outside Pittsburgh and the rings at a Truckstop on I-74 in Indiana. Also, the Hostess apple spice cupcakes have a harsh chemical overtone that coffee really brings out, unlike the orange cupcakes.), and not sleeping. We had a near-miss on a delivery that stressed me out so much I think I induced Sean to have an anxiety attack, causing his left hand to go numb. (We made it with 3 minutes--THREE--to spare.) I learned that big trucks have three enormous batteries, that it's sort of hit-or-miss cranking the engine when you only have two, what a battery smells like when the posts burn off, that a forklift *can* move a truck loaded with 40-someodd tons of steel enough to push start it, that it's possible to restart the engine by popping the clutch on a truck rolling uphill if you have enough momentum, and that hooking one of the batteries up backwards is a Very Bad Thing.

But it was fun. Steel mills are interesting, and trucking is a weird profession. I'd been out on a truck before with Michelle, but she was what Sean refers to as a "lazy drop-and-hook bastard" (meaning she doesn't drive a covered wagon or a flatbed and doesn't have muscles like a stevedore.) Anyway, I'm back, so further posting delays are due to indolence rather than absence.

3/26/2004

3/25/2004

The joke that writes itself.

Via Jonah Goldberg in The Corner: Fitness icon Richard Simmons cited for slapping man
Simmons, 55, known for his tank tops and outrageous manner, was ticketed for misdemeanor assault after allegedly striking the man across the face while in line at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport on Wednesday night, police said.
''He apparently said 'Hey everybody, it's Richard Simmons, let's drop our bags and rock to the '50s,''' said Sgt. Lauri Williams, a reference to a series of his well-known videos. ''Mr. Simmons took offense and said he had to 'bitch slap' him.''
Blessed are the cheesemakers.

This is the good part: There's going to be a limited re-release of Life of Brian (LA, NY, check local listings.)

This is the ass part:
Rainbow president Henry Jaglom says, "We decided this is an important time to re-release this film, to provide some counter-programming to The Passion."
"Important"? "Counter-programming"? Handy rule of thumb: when you become more pompous than the people you're trying to spoof, you have jumped the shark.
Babylon's a-fallin' to rise no more.



Compelled by one of the best reviews of anything I've ever read, by Matt Labash in the Weekly Standard, I just bought the most extraordinary cd box set I've ever heard, Goodbye, Babylon, a six-disc set of early 20th century gospel that runs the musical gamut, as Labash notes, of "everything from Sacred Harp singing to hillbilly romps to field-holler prison chants to front-porch blues to jubilee quartets to old-timey country to Sanctified-congregational singing to Pentecostal rave-ups." The sixth disc is devoted entirely to sermons, mostly from the twenties. (Sure, I got a few odd looks when I pulled up to the gas pump with a sermon about the Black Diamond Train and its passenger manifest of liars, gamblers, and thieves blaring from my car speakers. I maintain this is not only no worse than blasting Eminem so my neighbors can hear it, it's infinitely better.)

The review is amusing, maybe slightly more so for those of us raised as Southern Baptists, but the music is divine. If you have any interest in gospel or old time music, it's well worth acquiring.

3/22/2004

Well, this is kinda pleasant, actually.

HASH(0x8ad3f44)
You are Walt Whitman! Champion of the
Transcendentalist American Ideal, Walt Whitman
is one of the first poets to use the "free
verse" form in America. He has been
imitated, but will never be duplicated, just
like you! Except for by everyone else who gets
Walt Whitman ;)


Which famous poet are you? (pictures and many outcomes)
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Cool. I dig Whitman.

[Via Rodya.]
Wanton hubris.

That's what Patrick Stewart's got, assaying one of Peter O'Toole's seminal roles in Showtime's ill-advised remake of "The Lion In Winter". The project has disaster written all over it; Stewart and Glenn Close are about as subtle as a matched pair of sledgehammers, and I suspect it's going to resemble a Master Thespian skit more than a serious attempt to invoke Goldman's vision of a Plantagenet family Christmas.

[Via Dean Esmay, via a heads up from Bernadine.]

3/15/2004

The re-Reconquista

Victor Davis Hanson analyzes the Spanish elections.

Anything I could add would be de trop.