I'd like to dedicate this post to Bernadine.

Because injuries caused by really stupid behavior make her laugh. Hard.

The setup: "Jackass Contest", Virginia Beach.

The prize: a trip to Mexico.

The winning strategy:

The winner, who has not been identified, told police that the staples had been applied by the Chicho’s crowd, which had passed around a stapler and shot him at random as he walked through the bar.

At one point, he told police, his testicles had been stapled to his stomach.

“We didn’t confirm that,” Santos said. “I didn’t want to pursue that part of it.”

The man had several slice marks on his side, which were the result of paper cuts or caning, Santos said.

The man also told police he’d snorted hot sauce and salt, broken a beer bottle over his head and swallowed and vomited up a live goldfish.

Throughout the interview, the man repeatedly apologized for reeking of urine, Santos said.

He said one part of the contest had involved his lying on the men’s bathroom floor and making “snow angels.”

The man also had lost the use of his left arm, which Santos said hung at his chest in a sling fashioned from a pair of women’s underwear.

“He did a back flip off the bar and didn’t make it,” Santos said.

Despite his injuries, the man told police that he was proud that he’d won the trip to Mexico.

Well, of course he was. If there's one thing reality tv teaches us, it's that a complete loss of human dignity is a tiny price to pay for a trip you could cover out of pocket if you didn't have to pay your medical bills.

[Thanks to Rick, who loves stupidity nearly as much as Bern does. And to MTV, for providing the youth of our fair country with such high quality programming.]

Update: Rick informs me this came from Dave Barry's blog.