I really don't know why this stuff catches me off-guard.

Roger Ebert's just weird. I was reading his review of "Welcome to Mooseport" (his is one of the very few positives), and ran across this:

We question that such a naive and innocent town could exist in America, and are almost relieved to find that the movie was shot in Canada. Has it seemed to you lately that Canada is the last remaining repository of the world Norman Rockwell used to paint?

No, Rog, it hasn't, and you really need to get out of Chicago more.