Shut up and drink the Kool-Aid.

Because there is no silly game I won't play:

1. Grab the nearest CD.
2. Put it in your CD-Player (or start your mp3-player, I-tunes, etc.).
3. Skip to Song 3 (or load the 3rd song in your 3rd playlist)
4. Post the first verse in your journal along with these instructions. Don’t name the band, nor the album-title.

Along about round-up time In Texas way out West
I lost a friend and a pal, boys I laid him down to rest
I weeped and moaned over his grave and to me boys it was sad
'Cause I knew down beneath that mound lay the best pal I ever had

[Emily gets the credit or blame, because I saw it there first.]

Couple o' links.

Neurotically Yours, via Dean Esmay (from a day or two ago; so funny I want to be able to find it again, so I'm posting it here.)

And from the where-are-they-now files, today's Wham update on Ace o' Spades. Be warned: the picture is startling.

Boycott the Derby.

It's what the jockeys were threatening to do if they didn't get to wear ads on their pants.

LOUISVILLE, Ky. -- Jockeys can wear advertising patches during the Kentucky Derby, a judge ruled Thursday.

U.S. District Judge John Heyburn II's decision two days before the country's premier horse race applies only to seven jockeys who sued, including Jerry Bailey, Alex Solis, Jose Santos, and John Velazquez.

They cited the First Amendment in successfully asking that the judge grant a preliminary injunction to block enforcement of a state rule that bars jockeys from wearing advertising, promotional or cartoon symbols during races.

I wasn't aware the founding fathers were so prescient that they actually drafted a right to sell advertising space on one's clothing right into the Constitution. Silly me, I thought the first amendment only applied to political speech. Guess that's why I'm not a goddamn US District Judge.

The jockeys issued a statement after the ruling, saying the ads would be tasteful.

Oh, heavens, yes. Just like NASCAR, which we all know is all about the tasteful.

"We are very sensitive to the traditions of our sport and our goal is not to offend anyone," said Bailey, a two-time Derby winner who will ride Wimbledon on Saturday.

If you were actually sensitive to the traditions of the sport, this issue wouldn't have come up.

"Jockeys work very hard and risk our lives on a daily basis. We have earned the right to make additional income," he said.

I look forward to the opening of the jockey brothel next door to the Downs, then.

Jockey Pat Day, not part of either lawsuit, said before the ruling that the case could have a major impact on the sport.

"The industry is going through some dramatic changes," said Day, Churchill Downs' winningest rider. "It would be nice to stick with tradition, but we also have to do what's best for the game and for the longevity of the game."

I'll be goddamned. I didn't know Bud Selig had branched out to other sports. [Thanks to Paula for the link.]

The first stirrings of unease re Kong.

First, the good news: casting.

Naomi Watts will play the big ape's love object, Ann Darrow. Adrien Brody will play Darrow's boyfriend, former WWII pilot Jack Driscoll, and Jack Black will be blustery adventurer Carl Denham, who imports Kong to Manhattan.

Jack Black is perfect for Denham. Watts and Brody will be adequate, if dull. Now the bad news: Peter Jackson has lost his fucking mind.

"Everybody's image of 'King Kong' is that it's this amazing beauty-and-the-beast love story. And when you look at the original film, there is as sense that Kong is feeling an attraction toward Ann-probably the first empathy he's felt in his life toward another living creature. But Ann is not giving him a thing. She just looks at him as an object of horror the entire time. She screams at him, she's terrified. Her relationship with Kong doesn't go beyond that. We're having a lot of fun making it more psychologically real."

DUDE. You're making a movie about a giant goddamn monkey. What the hell does that even mean in this context, psychologically real? Are we going to be forced to sit through three hours of Watts and Brody crying like hobbits? Look, this is not Shakespeare. You've basically got a freakishly large monkey, a chick, and the Empire State building to work with. Do not fuck this up by drenching it in emotional excess.

Somewhere Julia Child is laughing her ass off.

We're apparently in the middle of a renaissance of variety meats, which is excellent. If the trend comes down to my being able to buy lamb and veal kidneys at Meijer I'm for it. (For steak and kidney pie. Stop looking at me like that, it's delicious.)

[Via Arts & Letters Daily.]

Torturing Clio.

Once again Hollywood prepares to savage the muse of History so Tom Cruise can put caviar on the table:

THE BATTLE OF BRITAIN WAS WON BY A SINGLE AMERICAN AIRMAN (...OR SO HOLLYWOOD IS ABOUT TO TELL US)

Winston Churchill said it was our "finest hour", but yesterday it was revealed the Battle of Britain was won single-handedly by Tom Cruise. Amid outrage from the West's war veterans and military historians, a new Hollywood film will claim that one American, Billy Fiske - played by Cruise - was responsible for the 1940 victory.

Ok, so filming hasn't started yet, and I'm jumping on the bash-Hollywood bandwagon before it's properly left the gate. Not to mention the fact that the people quoted in the article frankly sound like they have an enormous chip on their collective shoulders regarding America's part in WWII. When it comes to Cruise, however, any gun-jumping I do before the fact is absolutely justified--nay, righteous--since he so often proves me right after the fact.

Resign yourself. There will be bitching.

[Via Plastic Gangster, who's just a bit peeved by the news.]