11/22/2005

Self-esteem is going to ruin The Children.

From this article about a restaurant in Chicago warning people to make their kids behave inside, linked by Ace, who got it from Lileks:
"I love people who don't have children who tell you how to parent," said Alison Miller, 35, a psychologist, corporate coach and mother of two.
I love people with children who clearly shouldn't have had them because they don't know how to parent and refuse to learn. I may not have kids, but I do remember why my older brother and I didn't act up in restaurants or anywhere else: because my mother would bring down the Hammer of Justice, swift and terrible, on anyone who embarrassed her in public. The real problem, as far as I can see, is that these people have no shame.
"The looks I would get when I went in there made me so nervous that I would try to buy the food as fast as I could and get out," said Laura Brauer, 40, who has stopped visiting Taste with her two kids.
Good. When they're old enough to behave you can start going back.
"I think that the mothers who allow their kids to run around and scream, that's wrong, but kids scream and there is nothing you can do about it. What are we supposed to do, not enjoy ourselves at a cafe?"
That's it precisely, you silly bitch. Until you can teach your children how to behave, you shouldn't feel entitled to dump them on the rest of us. Enjoying yourself in a cafe while you let your kid sit there and scream instead of taking him or her outside shows an utter lack of consideration for other people, and I can return that kind of lack of consideration in spades. If you won't tell your kid to knock it off, believe me, I'll be happy to take over that responsibility. And I won't be terribly tender with his or her little feelings, either.
Kim Cavitt recalled having coffee and a cookie one afternoon with her boisterous 2-year-old when "someone came over and said you just need to keep her quiet or you need to leave."
So you should just be able to sit there with your cookie and pretend your child is not screaming while the rest of us suffer? It really is all about you, isn't it, Kimmy?
"We left, and we haven't been back since," Cavitt said. "You go to a coffee shop or a bakery for a rest, to relax, and that you would have to worry the whole time about your child doing something that children do -- really what they're saying is they don't welcome children, they want the child to behave like an adult."
Isn't the whole goal of raising children teaching them when not to behave like yardapes? I go into a coffee shop or bakery for a rest, to relax, and the last damn thing I need is your kid going off like a freakin' tornado siren every few minutes.

Less self-esteem. More genuine accomplishment.

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